November 13, 2007

bug-a-bears


You know what frightens me the most?
Not monsters, or the lush effects so common now-a-days. Not Death, nor weapons, wild beasts or brutal assaults…..
No….no, my pet fear is madness.

Madness terrifies me, that total mental collapse into spiritual decay.

I have this image in my head from a movie I saw so long ago. Of a woman, from a pre-civil war, well-to-do family, who loses touch with the commoners one day….

She takes to her hands and knees, crawling the house day in, night out, her black taffeta gown dragging the floor, her perspective halved and lacking.

At moments she seems as sane as you or I, just a peculiarity, this viewpoint from the hip so to say. But then eyes turn inward and she sees something that starts the foray……

The moaning and denials, screeches that reach sub sonic frequencies, to be followed by rushed whispers, the dialogue frantic and centered.

This….this is the effigy I fear most.

brittle dichogamy

a healer of appulsed stars

that appear quasied

but genuinely retroglide

through the solstice eve

the psycho-pompo-us mediation

skates tween con and un

a membrane most delicate

if you point the sun

against the universal centre

and heaven's fire

rich with humidity

fecund and deprived of the night's glow

coasts neath the right ascension

small and rare

solstitially arriving

with it's twin barrels of divine stigma

to agressively phase all those

standing agog....

all hail, all hail

circumference

an ever-revolving cast of espousals
the multi-states of mind flicker
out and round this iso-late crater
like an old time projection
cast by the setting sun
through the pulp of decay

words flicker by
on the window of contingency
assigning identities
too fast to hope the reserve

i analyze the repetition
a morsed dream that delves
broader afield with ever incarnate
dialogues scripted yet unique
if only in spectrum

i've heard....what was it i heard
i've seen this....yes, yes
again and amongst the lines....

he....
so fragile
to be inhibitionalistically bound
restrictively foiled
by the ghost of retreat and plunder

she....
too good
at anger, those tears which burn
the birth of verbatimed accusations
that control in the light of reason

we....
resolve in this dance
to an ancient abuse
mis-faith, and the trust wanders
mis-used, even the echo will brood
mis-amity, and affection spits from inheritance
mis-aligned, we will all sabotage the assumption

i....
feel the urge to be caught
in the midst of myself
once again....are you?

the stratum haunt

So I was standing still at 67 miles per hour again the other day, and I came across a tableau that was astonishing in its aftermath, though the moment seemed but a transit stroke. The second the scenes unfolded, each in their sequential pomp, the awe factor ratcheted up notch over notch till I was flabbergasted and wanting so to return to the act of the "crime".

Layer one….Red lights flashing in the distance, not unusual for a busy weekend by-way. Came up on brand new dooley pulled off to the side of the road, big and red with tinted and viewless windows and driver. A muddy brown sedan with hidden lights flashing in the back seat behind. Once you were up on the duo the lights faded in and out with strobic intensity….they are there….they are elsewhere….

Layer two….A man, in civilian clothes, walking from the sedan. Nice clothes, middle age, out of shape. But the odd factor was that if a vehicle is being pulled over by any law enforcement, the officer would be cautiously approaching the offending vehicle, weapon drawn and at the ready. Yet this man was sauntering through the roadside grasses like he was on his way to Sunday church services.

Now if this wasn't enough……on the other side of the road, almost directly opposite of this "crime"….

Layer three….at first glance I thought it was an elemental, a groundling deva type pacing the setting sun, waiting for its proper time. This "man", nut brown, with dirt so ingrained and skin so oakish as to appear black, yet with those piercing light eyes….

His clothing was an odd mish-match of extremely well-worn denim and torn-up, not-oft washed plaids. His boots were at least a half inch thick cowhide, gnarled and twisted to exactly fit his pristine feet. His hat, a twisted heap of fiber, molded by sweat and sun, to only vaguely resemble a sun bonnet. Thick of chest, a man who worked and fed every muscle, not just paid homage in a mirror. But the clincher, the item that made me realize I was not witnessing a modern day man walking along the road as if on an errand, were his chaps.

They were not the common full-leg, up-to-the waist kind. No, these went only up as far as the knee – thick unbending leather bells. Snake charmer chaps we call them here. Now, we have our share of local rodeo groups, but this was no sideshow-rodeo-cowboy-clown. This was a throwback to those days gone by of the cross-world cattle drives. And where would this creature, if "cowboy" he truly was, be coming from? We were on the side of the road, no ranches or developments or homes anywhere for at least a mile either way……

He was directly across from the officer and his offender. He looked at the scene as if to say "yea, I see it, I seen it before, it's just a late evening heat mirage. It will disappear as always when the sun sets down. But in the meantime I'm gonna take notes".

Highway 130 is cutting across old highways and back roads that were once trails between ranches and markets, auction and slaughter houses, and railroads and big cities up north and east. I think things other than the dust are being disturbed. And I truly think this is why my perspective is being so distorted….one of these days I won't just be driving by one of those portals, I'm going to drive 'through'……

lusus naturae


a deformance of soul
the gnarl and kink
unable to wreathe our
obliquity

a barrage and butt
against our pitch
demanding indemnific entrance

a lamentable ado
when understanding eclipsed
these simple flurries reviled and latent

any appeals
blown down and neglected
all percusses reciprocated
the claws descended and razor dark

it's instinctive
this knotty tread can't be helped
can't you see....
the strength is a shield
not a weapon

this yearning for consent
the dip into the cusp
is exactly what marks their aura suspect
for the quarry can sense the courser....

yet not one of you will allow
....that even monsters
need a kindness now and again

September 2, 2007

bruised pearls

the tears fall like chafe
cleansing and riding
the grit of deceit
from the bruised soul

it runs wild
looping
determinedly
....aimless
under the blue-black skies
with that umbered pearl
hanging pendulous and throbbed
a witness to
cherished resignation

its own gravel aghast
in untold and infant-decimal agonies
that pale in response
to a bairnish heartbreak

the trick is to layer thinly
like that orb
awash in blood and endearment
refract those sensations
let cope after weather
ever-ending contention
slip and slope off the contours

ahhh, to be the observation
instead of the casualty

chain shift


it's amazing how we all deceive ourselves, the mirror
and of course, each other
one word, one little utterance
can make you ask that all-important question......
who the hell was that i just opened my soul up to?

listen to the chatter, the filler
not what a person is trying to convey
oh no
listen to what's being said off the cuff

one flippant remark....
can open a crack you can see straight through
and give inadvertant passage to a psyche

facades are to be worn, yes, i agree
and some of them can be darn good
deceive even the donner at times
but one little phrase...

if someone doesn't even know themself....
then why the need to be someone you aren't
or someone you don't remember

i am so fucking tired of the game....